the greatest literary work of the 20th century was banned for decades because it was reported to be pornographic. I've read it. I practically majored in it in college. I wrote my thesis in Dublin on Ulysses. The truth? Not pornographic. The story-- short form-- Leopold Bloom leaves the bedside of his wife Molly to go to a funeral, knowing full well she is going to sleep with her manager, 'Blazes' Boylan. he wanders around, has a couple beers, a sandwich, a stroll on the beach, jerks off in his pants and goes home. How is that NOT pornographic?Because its written in such a way that you wouldn't know it was happening unless you were exceptionally focused.
Why then was it called pornographic? Because a reviewer mentioned the contents. A learned literary scholar, not a local newspaper book section freelancer, or a (god forbid) blogger.
So an entire country spent 20 some years without the greatest literary work of the 20th century because of hysteria?
Yep. odd, huh.
Lets look at woman bathing. Doesn't matter who painted it. if it has that title or something similar it fits the criteria. monet's pontilism, rembrants dark stroked photorealism, matisse bold pencil lines. there is on a canvas in a museum near you of a beautiful nude full hipped woman bent over a tub or a pond or bucket.
Now, google woman bathing. uncheck the safety filter. whats the difference?
none
i used to collect things that i call accidental porn. it included signs that could be misinterpreted. professional misspellings. unclear messages.
I called them accidental porn because it was a guilty pleasure of mine, but it wasn't generated by anyone for any prurient interest. they were just accidents.
this morning i took a few pictures of my daughters. i have two, you know. one just flops around. the other is hard to catch.
I spent a good portion of the morning feeding both of them and then chasing Julie about. Once i had a couple minutes to sit (with a baby on my knee) i put a picture of each girl on the facebook. Julie scampering across the bed spread in order to put the remote in her diaper and a goldfish up her nose, and Annabelle... flopped in her bed. I put a mobile over annabelle's bed and tried to attach the fuzzy baby dice over her.
Annabelle regarded the dice with great skepticism.
it has spots and multiple colors and one side that has a funhouse mirror on it.
She did however enjoy drooling on it.
So i load the pictures on facebook, and about an hour after i look at the pictures.
in the funhouse mirror.
in the middle of the funhouse mirror.
there...
is a penis.
Mind you I was fully clothed at the time of the photography.
as far as i know there is no other penis in the house,
but sure enough
there
penis.
I downloaded it and zoomed in. the penis was irrefutable. or so it seemed.
a penis.
not one of those "i can kinda make out a..."
no.
this was fully formed
possibly angry.
but there was nothing there.
granted the mirror is of a quality to amuse infants and perhaps rocky dennis
but i didn't want to field questions and comments
about my penis
because the penis
was not mine
Now i'm not prudish. I enjoy being naked.
not hee hee i'm getting naked!
but in that you can say, i enjoy heat
or i enjoy showers rather than baths
i prefer to sleep naked.
i also shower that way
and under my clothing
naked.
i don't like being discovered naked
caught
i don't like it when someone opens the door while i'm peeing
i don't want to be caught sucking in my gut and stretching my fat rolls whilst brushing my teeth
but if theres a party and people are getting nude, count me in!
but in this incident of accidental porn
i decided it best
to crop
we'll save the nudity for parties and the penis for ghost photos
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